Give me back my wings.

My mom- I think I do not like her most of the time. I know this is because of my behavior. But I can not, I can not fix anything. This is a very painful event. There is love, I am more uneasy. For example, when we sit calmly, I sound the mother and she responds with a whining voice, but after I say something. Or when we're sleeping together, I'm sleepy, calmly checking that he's breathing, with his comforter on and off. So why?! Because I'm so worried that suddenly it's going away, is that love ?! It looks like a love. But the painful side too. Another reason ?! Yeah. It hurts, because I can not express my love. I have never managed this as well as I have ever felt. No one can understand me more, even if I do not have the most creative words in there, it's an incomprehensible feeling. Because I'm born like this. I believe there is a god in the inside and that god wants me to be born with such a personality. Knowing a bull in a lover is much more difficult than knowing a bull in hate. Hate kills you sincerely, as it drowns it, right. The lover kills you in himself and makes you look alive, but you do not have a living personality. Which one is more painful? The second for me. Maybe I'm thinking wrong. Because I have never felt such a sincere hate. I have only my inner beliefs about how it is. Love is my main substance, I am an addict, I am passionate. Someone who has a heartfelt love. I'm not against a single man, I'm addicted to mothers, sun, discovery, addicted to writing, music addiction, poetry addiction. My head is beautiful, my labyrinths always have love, it's never hard to be lost inside. God, now that you are inside and very deep. You understand me. But you need your help, God. I'm not strong enough to tell people, help me with this. Give me back my wings. I love you innocently.